faith in the Rock
Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. Thank You, Father God. I’m so sorry, Father, and I turn away from the old way.
While I could use different words to express the same message, I won’t. Keeping it simple like it was from the beginning.
You have taken me through the storms. You have shown me the depths of my weakness, sin nature. Those things led me to know the depths of Your grace and gentleness personally, so again, thank You, Father God. What You’ve done in my life, how can I walk on anything but gratitude clouds? You heard each one of my prayers for revival and revelation. What happened next? You answered each prayer in Your divine timing. Some came years later. The point is they came. You delivered on Your promises. So again, I say thank You. You answered in a way I wasn’t prepared for, but that’s where You come in AGAIN. You give us things and solutions, just for us to bring them back to You. Because You intended for us to be dependent children on You for life. You want us to come to You not with uncertainty but with gratitude and seeking Your will above all. In faith, You want us to go to You, not when we feel like it but because You are the lover and knower of our souls.
What follows You already know God because You were there, but I’ll write it here for purposes of recording turning point miracles in my life. In 2020, You brought light to the growing mental fog that existed within me for several years. Your light exposed a lot of impurities I couldn’t see before like unforgiveness, a shapeshifting fugitive hiding in my house. This unforgiveness was like untreated cancer spreading all over my brain and body. You warned me, God, but I was so fearful and stubbornly trying to heal myself. When I finally saw unforgiveness there underneath the anger and evicted it with the help of Your Holy Spirit, that’s when another unexpected thing came. Space. I wasn’t ready for a new mental space that cleared when the mental fog prevented me from identifying the squatters of pride, anger, and unforgiveness. In the process, more words came, abilities to learn spoken and kinesthetic language for human experiences, an audible voice with gravitas & depth, and again all this space. It was all so overwhelming. Instead of asking for Your help with these gifts, I tried to use them and grow them myself. Because I had become convinced that You were holding out good things from me, and I was upset with You for not clearing up this fog sooner. I convinced myself that it was me fixing myself. But I was wrong. So very wrong.
So many lessons were learned. Very painfully. Thank You for teaching me and never losing patience. Please Lord, bring order to my house. I don’t want to keep filling it with random things and doings You haven’t approved of. Thank You, Lord, for teaching me through years of experience that You want us to come to You with it all, the highs and lows. You want to equip us with the perspective that’s needed to carry out Your intended purposes for the blessing and gift. This is what matters. Your orders and Your will. I love You, Father God. I trust You, Father God. Even when my emotions go haywire, I will trust You. You bless us with different blessings, like blessings in disguise and gifts in a time-release capsule. You do know best, Father. I trust You. I pray to You, God, that You free me from any remnants of double-mindedness and instability. I choose You, not You and the world. You. No gray living. I want to live in the light, not darkness. So I choose You and will continue to choose You, even in suffering. I will pray, even when it hurts. I will lavish You with gratitude every day.
I don’t deserve this, what You’ve given. But I won’t take it for granted. Not again.